


Tired and Touch-Starved

by FandomsUnite17



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Sleep Deprivation, Tired Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Virgil is sleep deprived, seriously someone force this boi to sleep
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29387007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsUnite17/pseuds/FandomsUnite17
Summary: Virgil is living with the Light Sides now, which is great. He really does like it there, he likes being around them. But... he doesn't like having to sleep in his room every night, riddled with terrifying nightmares, in order to keep his secret hidden. It wasn't necessarily a bad secret. Not really... But he didn't have any idea how to tell them, and now it was just too late to tell them without making it awkward. And he couldn't get a full night's rest now for fear of them seeing him in Deep Sleep.  Deep Sleep didn't ever hurt anyone, but he wasn't sure if, since they probably assumed he slept like any of them do, if seeing him in Deep Sleep for the first time would scare them. Or worse, make them afraid of him.You see, when Virgil went into Deep Sleep, his body reacted to the state in many ways. The most obvious way was that his entire body glows like a thousand light bulbs have settled under his skin, sending the entire room he was in at the time in a bright purple light. And that wasn't all...He's doing fine. He hasn't slept properly for almost two months, but hey! They hadn't seen his Deep Sleep and he hasn't started causing them any problems. So it's fine... right? He didn't need sleep, anyway. He's fine.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This story was entirely inspired by the various prompts by sleepyvirgilprompts on tumblr! So if you're reading this, thanks so much for the awesome prompts, sleepyvirgilprompts!
> 
> If you like this fic, I highly suggest you go check out their tumblr blog yourself to see some of the super fun prompts that inspired it!

It had been almost a month since Virgil had started living with the light sides and, miraculously, he had managed to sleep in his bedroom every night and actually get enough sleep that no one got suspicious. But all good things must end eventually, right? If only it hadn’t been his own fault they’d found out. It would have been easier if they’d found out on their own.  
Roman had been writing something with some sort of dark-themed scene and Roman had been taking notes of a few things in his room. He’d definitely been offended at first. What was he supposed to think when Roman walked up asking if he could take notes on his bedroom because he was writing, and I quote, a “creepy part” and he wanted inspiration? Honestly… But he’d let him in anyway. What would it hurt? He wished he’d been awake enough to really think about that question. He’d been just about to turn on his music when two things happened at once. One, he noticed how late it was and wondered if Roman had left yet or if he’d fallen asleep somewhere, being that it was suddenly quiet. And two, his unspoken question was immediately answered with whimpered screams.  
He had rushed downstairs to find Roman on the couch, sitting up (he’d clearly fallen asleep on accident), whimpering and screaming, tears streaming out from underneath closed eyelids. His knees were pulled up to his chest and he was shaking his head. Virgil had woken him up and ushered him out of his room, where he calmed him down. Roman, mostly calmed, desperately asked the open air what on earth had triggered a nightmare that bad. And Virgil, being stupid and tired and not thinking, had responded to him. “Oh, yeah, that was just… my room just does that. Sorry. Didn’t think you’d go falling asleep...”  
It wasn’t necessarily him knowing that his room gives him nightmares that bothered him. It did bother him a bit having Roman know that now, but that was the least of his worries when he told Patton and Logan. They had both tried, very hard, to convince him to sleep somewhere else, but he had repeatedly refused. It was bad enough that they knew his bedroom gave him nightmares, there was no way he would let them know any more. There was no telling how they’d react.  
His true mistake happened about two weeks after that. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone into Deep Sleep, which only served to make him more on edge about getting tired outside of his room. He couldn’t let them see him in Deep Sleep. He himself hadn’t experienced Deep Sleep in a long time, so he knew for sure that they’d never seen it before. So, over the past two weeks, he had been extra diligent in making sure he was never outside his room when there was any chance he might fall asleep. And he had been doing great. Until now.  
He hadn’t slept the night before at all, plagued by nightmares the second he closed his eyes, and a lot more stressed than usual now that they knew about the nightmares. But he hadn’t felt any more tired than usual when he left his room to join the newly-established weekly family movie night, which was unfortunately mandatory unless you had a good reason to back out. Everything had been going fine. And then it wasn’t. The lights were off for the movie and he had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He should have known that kind of atmosphere would make him tired. He should have known. He should have anticipated this and done something.  
But he didn’t. So now here he was. He’d just opened his eyes and realized what had happened, and his mind and heartbeat seemed to be racing each other. He looked around desperately and sighed with relief when he realized the room was empty. Good. Now to get down before anyone came in and saw him. He sat up straighter and looked over the edge of the bookshelf. The floor wasn’t too far away. It would sting for a second but he wouldn’t hurt himself jumping from up here. So he glanced around one more time and slipped off, landing with a heavy thud and rolling.  
Virgil grunted as he got to his feet. That stung a little worse than he anticipated. He looked down and shook the foot he’d landed on harder. The pain would fade quickly. His heart was still beating frantically but aside from that, he noticed something felt… off. Not off in a bad way… Off in a really good way, actually! He felt… awake, and maybe a little energetic, and surprisingly calm. He felt… alive, that’s the word! He felt alive.  
Footsteps. His heart skipped a beat and his gaze shot to the stairwell in the corner of the room. Logan stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked right at him. “Virgil. I was about to search for you. I wanted to ask you something. Something… quite curious happened to you last night.” Virgil’s breath caught in his throat at that. “Last night, partway through the movie, you fell asleep. And not long after, you… Well, it would be easier if I showed you.”  
Virgil took a deep breath as the memory overtook his vision. He was seeing from Logan’s eyes now, and the movie was still playing on the TV. Logan was sitting on the couch along with Patton and Roman, and Virgil was sitting in the armchair off to the side. Okay, what was he supposed to be seeing?  
Logan glanced over at Virgil, who was apparently asleep already, and started to look away, then stopped and looked back. What was…? Oh, no. Oh, no. Logan squinted at him, and… oh, no, it was! Logan glanced over at Patton and Roman, then looked back at his sleeping body and mumbled to himself. “What is…?”  
Virgil’s body was slumped in the chair, snoring almost silently, and… a faint purple was emanating from him, steadily and rapidly glowing brighter. Logan stared and slowly got up off the chair, glancing over momentarily to grab the TV remote and pause the movie. There was a momentary sputter of sound from Roman, but Logan held a hand up and looked back at Virgil’s now brightly glowing body. Roman and Patton both gasped from somewhere behind him and he slowly stepped over to Virgil’s body. “Virgil…?” No reaction.  
Patton stepped up beside Logan, barely noticeable in Logan’s peripheral. “What’s happening? Is he okay?”  
Logan continued to stare and reached a hand out, gently shaking Virgil’s shoulder and calling his name again. “I…” Silent, for a long moment. “I… don’t know… I have never seen anything like this before…”  
Roman stepped up on his other side and he glanced over to the worried side. “That’s really not good… right? That doesn’t look good…”  
Logan looked back at Virgil and shook his head slowly. “I don’t have any idea…”  
Logan blinked and suddenly Patton was leaning over Virgil, standing beside the chair. “Virgil?!” Patton down and shook Virgil’s shoulders. “Virgil! Can you hear me?!” Patton yelled a few more things, then turned to Logan with misty eyes. “He’s not waking up! He’s not waking up! What does that mean?!”


	2. Chapter Two

The memory faded then, leaving Virgil to blink rapidly as his vision returned to normal and he found himself in the living room again, Logan standing before him. His heart was pounding violently, his head was spinning. No. No. No. “Virgil?” He blinked again and looked at Logan. “Every one of our attempts to wake you after that proved unsuccessful… We decided to stay awake and watch you so we would know if anything changed, but… not more than twenty minutes later you… you unconsciously sunk out, and we were all unable to find where you were… You… we were…” Logan took a deep breath and straightened his tie nervously. “Concerned… Were you aware of this occurrence? Has this ever happened to you before? And do you know what caused it? Is… is it harmful?”  
Virgil was frozen, every inch of his body stiff except for his rapidly beating heart. Obviously yes, he knew about it. ”Uh…” His voice was catching painfully. They were worried about him. Probably still were worried right now. He deserved an answer. “Um… No, I didn’t know it happened last night, um…” He took a deep breath. Think. Breathe. “Yes, it’s happened before. And… and…”  
“Virgil, are you okay? You don’t look… okay…”  
Virgil shook his head. The questions. Answer the questions. “I do know why, yes.” He couldn’t think. Breathe. Breathe. “I’m fine.” There. He answered. Virgil shook his head and bolted for the stairs, rushing up and straight to his room, slamming the door behind him. Oh, no. Oh, no. He knew. They knew. They all knew.   
What was wrong with him?! He fell asleep! How could he let himself fall asleep?! What did they think of him now? Now that they’d seen it? Now that they’d seen him in Deep Sleep? He plopped down on his couch, groaning. He couldn’t get that memory out of his head. He couldn’t stop seeing it. Roman’s worried face, Patton’s tear-filled eyes. After the memory had faded, when Logan was talking to him. He couldn’t stop thinking about how Logan had hesitated before he’d said ‘concerned’, and how he’d said it. Hesitantly. Like he was scared to admit it. Like he wasn’t just a little concerned. Like he was truly afraid.  
They were… scared. They were scared. For him? He shook his head. Breathe. Breathe. For him? No. Breathe. He couldn’t think! He couldn’t stop seeing their faces, their reactions. Logan’s hesitation. Scared. Scared. Afraid. Afraid of him. Afraid of him. Afraid of Deep Sleep. Afraid of him, then.   
He’d failed. He’d failed! He was trying so hard, he’d been trying so hard not to sleep around them! He had been doing so good! But… but then… he failed! He failed, he fell asleep, and outside of his room, where he had no nightmares, where nothing was hindering his sleep… where nothing was stopping Deep Sleep from emerging. And they were there when Deep Sleep happened, and they were scared! They were scared of it, and they were confused, and they were upset! Just like he’d thought! This is exactly why he couldn’t let that happen!  
He let out a frustrated scream. How long had they watched him? How long had they tried to wake him up? How much had they seen?! If just the state of Deep Sleep scared them, what would they think if they saw it get really Deep? If they saw it full-force?! If they saw everything?!  
Virgil didn’t leave his room after that. Not or the rest of the day. Or the following night. Or the day after. Or the day after that. Or for the rest of the week. He’d only been interrupted a few times in that first week. Patton each time, knocking on his door to try and get him to come out and talk. He’d answered each time with a quick and simple, “I can’t”.   
Patton stood silent for a moment. It had been a week and three days since Virgil had left his room. Since that… something happened to him. Patton had come to check on him, once again, and ask once more if he would come out for just a moment and talk to them. He’d gotten the same answer, of course. “Okay… Virgil, we’re… we’re getting really worried about you. I’m starting to get a little scared. I don’t doubt that you could take care of yourself, but… please. If something’s wrong, I… we’d really like to know. I love you, kiddo. You know that, right?” He waited. No answer. “Okay. Just… please be okay…” Rubbing his eyes to fight back the stinging in them, Patton turned and went back downstairs. Roman and Logan looked up at him, and he shook his head. They both sighed, but he still felt the need to explain a little more, just in case. “Same thing as always…”  
Patton went to sleep that night feeling hopeless and miserable, but when he awoke the next morning to a note taped to the inside of his door all of that fled away. It was a simple piece of notebook paper, folded up so that he could only see one thing. A dash and one word. A name. Virgil.


End file.
